Cat and Mouse
An old tom cat died and went straight to Heaven,
He was met by Saint Peter, who said,
“You’ve been a good pussy cat all of your life,
“You can have what you want now you’re dead.”
The cat said “I’ve been a farm cat all of my life,
“I’ve slept on hard wooden floors,”
“I would just love to have a big fluffy pillow
“On which I can rest my poor paws.”
“Of course,” said Saint Peter, “whatever you wish,
“A pillow’s no trouble at all,
“If there is anything else that you want
“You’ve only to give me a call.”
A few days later six poor little mice
All came to a sticky end,
They too went to Heaven, hand in hand,
Eternity to spend.
Saint Peter asked what they would like
When he met them at the gates,
“We’ve spent all our lives on the run from cats,
“We’d love some roller skates.
“Our poor little legs are quite worn out,
“We’ve had a terrible life,
“One dreadful day we were chased by a woman
“Wielding a carving knife.”
The little mice got their roller skates,
For that’s what Heaven’s about,
They spent their days skating here and there
Chasing in and out.
Saint Peter went to check on the cat,
Who’d thought that Heaven was fictitious,
“This pillow’s so soft and those meals on wheels
“You’ve been sending are quite delicious.