Five country churches in a small Texas town
Had a problem with squirrels which was getting them down,
The pesky little beasts were invading their space
Not staying in the wood which was really their place.
The Presbyterian Church called a meeting one day
They talked for a while then knelt down to pray,
They decided that squirrels were part of Godís will,
They were meant to be there and there they are still.
The Baptist Church squirrels had taken up residence
In the bapistry no less and there was the evidence,
The deacons put a lid on so the squirrels would drown,
They escaped and came back, twice as many around.
The Methodist Church had a different idea
They couldnít harm Godís creatures, to them that was clear,
They trapped all the squirrels and took them away,
Three days later the blighters had come back to stay.
The Catholic Church found the perfect solution
It didnít involve any harsh retribution,
They baptised the squirrels, a gesture sincere,
Now at Christmas and Easter theyíre there - twice a year.
The Jews at the Synagogue were keeping quite quiet,
They didnít want protesters causing a riot,
They had a solution which might make you wince,
A squirrel they circumcised and theyíve not seen one since.