The doctor says I must lose some weight,
Heís put me on a new diet.
He said it may seem rather odd
But really I should try it.

Iíve been on diets for years and years,
Iíve tried the bloominí lot,
The Atkins and the cabbage soup,
Weight Watchers for me was not.

The F Plan and the meatless one,
No chocolates, sweets or gin,
But none makes any difference,
I know I shanít get thin.

Iíve given up the whole idea,
A saying Iíll now borrow,
Diets are just like fashion,
Hare today and scone tomorrow.