Life's too short
Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom
I once heard a celebrity say,
But stuffing a mushroom’s quite therapeutic
And it doesn’t take all day.

With breadcrumbs, garlic, herbs and cheese
It makes a wonderful meal,
No chemicals or E numbers
What you’re eating is for real.

I’ve never met a ploughman
I think they’re a very rare bunch,
Yet thousands of people sit down every day
To eat a ploughman’s lunch.

Your crunchy salad with cheese or ham,
Then a most delicious pud,
Is healthy eating at its best
It’s bound to do you good.

A mother once would cook for hours
Preparing a meal for her brood,
Pies, stews, a roast and veg,
Traditional English food.

Suet dumplings, spotted dick,
Thick custard - what a treat,
Those were the days, not long ago
When we really knew how to eat.

There are meals in the supermarket
Full of monosodiumglutamate   
I remember having one some time ago,
But I’m not sure just what I ate.

If you want to make life easy
And not be a kitchen slave
Just buy a ghastly ready-cooked meal
And bung it in the microwave.