New Year Resolutions
Itís now that time of the year again
To make New Year resolutions,
Now Christmas is over and out of the way
You can think of your yearly delusions.

Everyone knows that ninety percent
Donít last for more than a week,
All those things youíre going to give up
A healthier life to seek.

Give up smoking, eat much less,
Go for a five mile run,
If you give up all the things you enjoy
Youíll cut out half the fun.

But this year Iím going to be really firm
My resolutions Iíll keep,
I wonít have a guilty conscience,
Iím not going to be a creep.

This year I will not bungie jump,
Abseilingís no more for me,
My daily jog up Blackdown Hill
Will now be a memory.

Iím not going to swim the channel this year,
Itís really a bit too far,
Iím going to give up Silverstone
And my super racing car.

I admit that I shall somehow miss
Freefalling out of the sky,
To my high-wire act in the circus
I now must say goodbye.

So as I sit in front of the telly
With my cat upon my knee,
Iíll stuff myself with chocolates
Feeling righteous as can be.

All these resolutions Iíll keep
I wonít break a single one,
But if temptation should raise its head,
Iíll just say ďSatan, begone.Ē