The Ballad of Danny Wise
Now gather round and let me tell
The tale of Danny Wise,
And how his sweet wife, Annabelle,
Did suck out both his eyes.

And if I tell the story true
And if I tell it clear,
There’s not a mortal one of you
Won’t shriek in mortal fear.

But Annabelle was not so sweet,
A Sheik she had impressed,
In secret they would often meet,
And Danny never guessed.

Until one day he chanced to see
Them walking hand-in-hand,
No, surely not, it couldn’t be,
He didn’t understand.

He challenged her that very night,
She laughed and said, “It’s true,
Compared with him you look a fright,
I’d rather have him than you.”

He said, “I’ll never let you go,
I couldn’t if I tried,”
And so she bought some arsenic,
And that same night he died.

She sucked out both his eyeballs,
As sweet as sweet could be,
She took them to her lover,
Said “One for you and one for me.”

Eyeballs were part of his normal diet,
Though usually from sheep,
After a while they went very quiet
And shortly fell asleep.

The following morning they didn’t arise,
They were still there in their bed,
The Sheik and his paramour, Annabelle Wise,
But both were extremely dead.

The eyeballs were full of arsenical compound,
Discovered at the post mortem,
And Danny’s spirit danced round and round,
He gleefully chuckled, “That’s taught ‘em.”

Danny