Wally the Painter
Wally is a painter,
He’ll give you a good price,
And when he’s finished off the job
You’ll agree it looks quite nice.

But Wally has a great big fault,
An honest man he aint,
He mixes lots of turpentine
In every can of paint.

He’s been doing very nicely
And making a few bob,
He put in a bid to paint the church,
And being lowest, got the job.

He set about it in great style,
Bought paint and turpentine,
He thinned the paint down really well
It looked just like port wine.

He put up all the scaffolding
And painted away like mad,
The congregation said, “He’s great,”
They didn’t know they’d been had.

And then the heavens opened
With a great big crash of thunder,
The rain it came a-teeming down
And Wally was knocked asunder.

He landed on the churchyard lawn
Amid puddles of thinned-down paint,
“I know that I’ve not been very good,
I know that I’m no saint.”

“Oh God, forgive me, what should I do?”
His plea rose in the uproar,
And a mighty voice from the thunder spoke,
“Repaint! And thin no more.”