Life is getting exciting
Iím shortly expecting a windfall,
I donít know whether to bank it
Or whether to blue it all.

Iíve seen a pretty summer dress
And a pair of high heeled shoes,
Or I might take a trip to Switzerland
With stunning mountain views.

I really need new curtains
The bedroom ones are tatty,
Perhaps Iíll spend it on a toy boy,
Who cares if the neighbours are catty?

A Versace handbag would be nice
To carry around all my lolly,
But the garden needs a makeover,
Iíd love to have a folly.

But woe is me, itís not to be,
Alack and oh alas,
These lovely dreams I am afraid
Will never come to pass.

There wonít be enough for a cup of tea
Let alone a sticky bun,
But isnít that the way of life
When all is said and done.

You see, our clever Chancellor,
The Prime Ministerís best matey,
Will increase my pension by twenty-five pence
On the day that I turn eighty.